10 Life Lessons To Learn Early

My 20s were a total blast and full of life lessons. Full of parties, adventures, mishaps, failures, successes, and emotional highs and lows. I not only “knew everything”, had no fear, couldn’t be told what to do, and had a billion friends, I was scared to death, had no idea who I was or what I wanted, and was completely alone. If you’re in your 20s and you’re being honest with yourself, you can probably relate. If you’re lucky enough to be in your 30s plus, you can look back with me in appreciation of no longer being in your 20s.

I say look back in appreciation because, while your 20s are your “glory” years, most people you’ll ask say they wouldn’t go back to their 20s if they could. The good news is it’s hard and challenging for a reason… You learn a lot of really important life lessons from your 20s. Here are just a few:

1. Just Like You, No One Else Has A Clue

When you’re in your 20’s you think you know everything. You feel like people older than you are always disrespecting you by talking down to you (though they are more likely just trying to help) you take it as a negative “I know more than you” conversation.

The reality is though, you truly haven’t lived long enough to even know yourself, let alone get a handle on anything else going on in the world. On top of that, even experts in a field only know what they’ve learned so far about a specific topic. They don’t know, what they don’t know, and probably couldn’t tell you two things about another topic outside of their field.

I’ll give you an example. My dad has a very high IQ and spent years as an engineer designing parts for rockets, the Mars Rover, and other DoD projects, yet if I asked him to tweet something for me, he wouldn’t have the slightest clue what I was talking about, let alone know how to do it. I’m sure if I showed him he could do it, but he doesn’t care to. It’s just not his thing.

Here is the point… even the people you think have it all together, know everything, and could do anything, deep down still have no idea what they are doing, and are simply figuring it all out as they go. This gets a little easier as you get older. You learn the basics of life, but you still are just trying to figure out life’s lessons and problems as they present themselves.

So the next time you get down on yourself for being scared or not knowing what you want in life, or how to do it, realize you’re not alone. Everyone else feels that way too. We’re all clueless and just hanging on for dear life… even as we age.

2. You’re Not Important In The Grand Scheme of Things, and Neither Is Anyone Else

Okay, so maybe there are a few people in history that have made some significant impacts, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s like .00000000000000000001% of all humans ever. Odds are you’re not going to be one of those people and that’s completely okay.

You’re here to make a positive impact on the group of people around you. Doesn’t matter how big or small that group ends up being, you just need to make sure that the impact you’re having on them is a positive one.

You might be saying to yourself, “but wait, I thought Nika’s whole thing was to help people grow, get healthy, and make the world a better place, not tell them they’re not important.” You’d be right. That is my thing. I want to help people be who they want to be, and live the way they want to live. This doesn’t mean that everyone I help is going to be a rockstar, the president, or Gandhi. Some people want to just live simply peaceful lives in Small-Town, USA, and that’s completely okay too.

The point of this is to understand that no one is more important than anyone else, so no one should be treated better or worse than anyone else. If you’re not special, you can take that pressure off of yourself, and instead invest that energy in being authentically yourself. Who knows, maybe being authentic will lead to you being famous, but that again doesn’t mean you’re any more important than the person in Small-Town, USA. Letting go of the pressure that comes with being special gives you the freedom to be happy, authentically yourself, and create your dream life.

3. You Can’t Make Someone Like or Love You

life lessons

This is a really important life lesson to learn as early as possible. It took me until I was probably 26 or 27 to truly understand it. No matter how hard you try. No matter what you offer them, do for them, or give to them, you can’t make everyone like you. More importantly, you can’t make anyone love you. These are choices people make completely on their own, and often it has little to do with who or what you are, and more with hormones and chemical reactions or their current state of mind.

I know this might not be something you want to hear, especially if you’ve had a crush on someone for what seems like forever, and you’re just waiting for the day they finally wake up and realize how amazing you are, and you two run off and live happily ever after. Yeah… that’s probably not going to happen.

If you two haven’t already hit it off, the odds are you never will. That doesn’t mean you won’t end up in bed together one night, or have fun together at a party, but that connection will be fleeting and most likely won’t turn into something long-term.

Don’t be too hard on yourself here. You are good enough, you’re just not what that person is looking for. It has nothing to do with who you are. You’re the right person for someone else… who will actually be the right person for you.

There will always be people that like you and people that don’t. The sooner you can learn to accept that and move on, the happier you’ll be in life.

4. Accomplishing Goals Is for Your 30s, 40s, and 50s. Your 20s Are for Figuring Out What Your Goals Are

You have no clue who you are in your 20s, so don’t worry about what your goals are. Odds are you’ll decide to change your goals a few times by the time you hit your 30s and 40s anyway.

Your 20s are for figuring out what you like and don’t like. What kind of direction do you think you might want to head in, or if nothing else, what you don’t want to do with your life?

Your 30s are when you’ll start to narrow down your goals to around 100, then your 40s and 50s are when you’ll really start to make things happen. And no you’re not an old fart in your 40s. Honestly, you’re just getting started.

Don’t worry too much if you don’t know who or what you want to be in your 20s. It has a way of working itself out as you get a little time under your belt, and a bit more experience.

Besides, that 20-something who has it all… well they just got lucky in one aspect of their lives, and still, have no clue what they are doing in 99% of the rest… and that’s okay too!

5. Social Media Is Making You Depressed

People aren’t nearly as cool as they seem on Social Media, so stop comparing yourself to them. You’re way cooler on Social Media than in real life too.

Mean think about it… when was the last time you posted a first attempt, unfiltered, no-makeup selfie? Or the last time you posted a picture of yourself on a Sunday afternoon when you still haven’t gotten dressed or brushed your teeth, and you’re 3 hours into watching your latest binge-show. I’m sure you’re looking really sexy.

The thing is, everyone has these moments, a lot of these moments, but no one is brave enough to show them. Social Media shows us only a partial view of the world, and it leaves out all the REAL LIFE moments.

So the next time you get depressed because you’re home on a Friday night and everyone else is posting pictures of themselves out partying, just remember that they have nights home alone too, and they don’t always have perfect makeup… and they poop too. haha

You are amazing and perfect, no matter how “lame” your Friday night was.

6. The World Is Not As Scary As Your Parents Made It Out To Be

Don’t get me wrong, there are definitely scary parts of the world. Alleys you probably shouldn’t walk down late a night, alone, without your pepper spray. There are people who will hurt you if you let them, but not everyone is evil.

You’re parents told you not to talk to strangers, to look both ways before you jump, and to wash your hands before you eat for good reason. The world is imperfect, and you must be cautious because you can get hurt.

But you can also succeed when you take calculated risks. In general, people will help others in need. People want to see the human race prevail, and accomplish great things. Live your life without fear, but with well-rooted caution.

7. Most Friends Will Come and Go

Life Lessons friends

This is simple. Some friends will come and go. They might have a big impact on your life while around, but over time they will have little to no lasting impact. Most friends are actually like this. You’ll meet them in school, at work, or through other friends. You might even spend years together hanging out, but with time your two lives will grow apart. Doesn’t mean something bad happened or you hate each other, it just means you’ve headed in different directions.

There are however a few friends who will show up at random times in your life and stay intertwined with you forever. Even over distance or lapses of time without communication. You’ll always cherish those friends and think of them fondly. You’ll know their flaws and still appreciate them and what they bring to your life, and they will fill the same about you.

Consider assessing your friendships from time to time and make sure you’re putting the right kind of effort into the right friends.

8. Romantic Relationships Are Not The Key To Happiness

It’s hard to feel lonely. You often feel like you’re not good enough because everyone else has found their special someone and you haven’t. You might even feel like you’re never going to find your perfect match. This is totally normal, and pretty much everyone feels this way at one time or another. It’s okay to feel blah here and there, as long as you don’t let it overtake you completely.

The reason I say this is because it’s unrealistic to think you can be 100% happy all the time. The trick is to find a good medium between true bliss and just okay. The only way you’ll find this balance is by looking within. You won’t find this for yourself by looking to others for acceptance or affection.

Now it is okay to find happiness in your relationships. Mean that’s one of the main reasons to have healthy relationships, they bring joy. But equally as important, you can’t let yourself get lost in those unhealthy relationships.

You’ll find more strength, happiness, and true bliss in getting to know yourself than you ever will in someone else.

9. Your Parents Are Way Cooler Than You Thought

Your parents really are way cooler than you ever thought. This becomes even more clear once you have kids of your own. You’ll wake up one day and realize, “wow, I was an a**hole, and should really do something nice for my parents.”

As you get older you realize your parents are/were just like you. Just trying to figure it out as they went along. They had hopes and dreams. Most of which, they probably either put on hold or compromised once they had you. They sacrificed more than you’ll ever be able to repay simply to keep you alive, and they were nice to you even when you didn’t deserve it.

Parents are miracle workers who receive little to no praise. They are some of the coolest people in the world, full of amazing advice and knowledge ready to share, sitting right in front of you, and you’re too blind by your ego to see it.

Next time you see your parents give them a hug and just say thank you… someday you will be them.

10. Happiness Can’t Be Bought

Trust me I’ve tried. Before I became a conscious consumer and truly understood the impact my shopping habits had on my sanity and the planet I bought thousands of dollars worth of shoes, clothes, and designer purses. I bought new cars, a house, and endless trinkets. They made me happy for maybe an hour or two. If I got lucky they made me happy again the next time I used them, but alas it was short-lived.

The happiest I’ve become over the years is actually letting go of many of my belongings. Taking a minimalist approach to life has felt extremely freeing and probably the best of the life lessons I’ve learned. I highly recommend giving it a try… but only to a level, you’re comfortable with. This isn’t about sleeping on the floor, it’s simply about buying less stuff. It’s about being thoughtful about your purchases. Consciously decide if it’s worth it, don’t just throw things in the basket because you “thought they were cute” in the store.

Conclusion

I hope you’ve learned from the above that true happiness can only be found within, and it takes time. It’s not something you’ll just find one day, and be happily ever after. It’s a lifelong tug and pull. Some days will be happier than others. Some days will be complete bliss and others will feel like you’ll never be happy again, but the only way to control that balance is by looking inward and not externally for happiness.

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